o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
Sacagawea was the original milf.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Randomize
