i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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