Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Randomize
