I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Randomize
