Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Randomize
