So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
