...so i touched it.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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