i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
