I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
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