Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
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