My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
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