Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Randomize
