Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
