i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Randomize
