the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
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