Whod you bang
fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
