Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Randomize
