honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
Randomize
