If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize
