I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Randomize