She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Randomize
