i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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