Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
