I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Randomize
