honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
