i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
