all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
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