Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
Randomize
