Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
