I'm pants shitting drunk right now
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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