Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize