I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
