I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Randomize
