I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
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