I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
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