I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Maybe he injected his testicle?
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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