i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
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