her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Randomize