don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
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