Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Randomize
