Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
this boner is exhausting
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
