Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
well I can't set my house on fire every night
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
