It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
