Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
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