His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize
