Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
