Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
The feeling are messing with the penis
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Randomize
