we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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