u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
