just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Randomize
