Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
Reggie can tackle my bush.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Randomize
