went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
