we were pretty classy up until the second keg
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Randomize
