You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
