what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
