So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Randomize