You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Randomize
