Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Randomize
