i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
