Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
