Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
