bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
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