Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize
