I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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